Tired of Crying? 7 Things You MUST Do to Get Over a Breakup (for Good)
Eyes swollen, heart aching, a box of tissues your constant companion. You're so tired of crying over someone who clearly wasn't right for you anyway, yet the pain feels unbearable. It's like your brain is stuck on repeat, replaying memories and "what ifs." If you're ready to break the cycle, ditch the tear-stained pillow, and actually start moving on with your life... you're in the right place.
Yes, breakups are hard. But wallowing forever is optional. It's time to take action, reclaim your power, and start creating a life that doesn't revolve around your ex. Here's your roadmap for moving forward:
Feel Your Feelings (But Set a Time Limit)
The urge to bury your sadness, anger, and longing under a mountain of distractions is strong. But those emotions don't just disappear. It's crucial to acknowledge and process those feelings. However, allowing yourself to sink into endless misery is counterproductive.
Here's a healthier approach:
Schedule your "grieving time:" Choose a specific time block each day (start with 30 minutes) to cry, journal, scream into a pillow – whatever you need to release those emotions.
When the time's up, shift gears: Go for a walk, call a supportive friend, put on upbeat music – actively move yourself into a different headspace.
Why this works: It gives you a safe outlet for the intense feelings while preventing you from wallowing all day, which deepens the despair.
Now, let's talk about the most important, yet underutilized tool for healing – cutting off contact with your ex.
2. The No Contact Rule
Think of your lingering feelings for your ex as an addiction. Every time you see their social media, text them, or drive past a familiar place, it's like a hit of dopamine for your brain, reinforcing that connection. The no-contact rule is your rehab.
The Science: Studies on addiction show that breaking contact helps your brain rewire, making those obsessive thoughts fade over time. Think of it like detoxing.
Getting Practical: This means deleting their number, unfollowing (or even blocking) on social media, and avoiding places that trigger memories, at least initially.
It's HARD, but Worth It: Acknowledge how difficult this is! Remind the reader that those initial withdrawal-like feelings are temporary, but crucial for long-term healing.
Tip: Enlist a friend for accountability. Give them permission to stop you from checking your ex's social media or drunk texting!
While cutting off contact is external, our next step focuses on internal work as you begin reclaiming your identity.
3. Out of Sight, Out of Mind
Your environment holds powerful triggers. That hoodie they left behind, the song you used to listen to together, even the coffee shop where you had your first date... they all keep your ex at the forefront of your mind.
Clean Sweep Time: Get rid of items that bring on a wave of sadness. If you can't throw things away, try the "maybe someday" box – to be tucked away and dealt with when you're further along in your healing.
Digital Detox: Temporarily curate your social media feed. Mute or unfollow pages that might feature your ex or couples that make you feel pangs of envy.
Create New Memories: Check out that new restaurant, take a weekend trip to a place you've never been, try a new hobby. This fills your space with fresh experiences untainted by the past.
These changes pave the way for the essential and exciting task of reclaiming your identity!
4. Reclaiming Your Identity
Relationships, especially long-term ones, have a way of blurring the lines between where you end and your partner begins. It's time to rediscover YOU.
Rekindle Old Passions: What did you love doing before the relationship? Was there an instrument you gave up playing, a fitness class you stopped attending, or friendships that faded to the background?
Exploration & Curiosity: Try new things! Sample different cuisines, take a dance class, or volunteer in your community. This isn't just about distraction; it's about unlocking new potential.
Beware the Rebound Trap: Jumping into a new relationship to fill the void can be tempting. Resist! Give yourself time to figure out your wants and needs outside the context of a partnership.
Self-rediscovery can be exhilarating. However, prioritizing self-care makes this journey smoother and boosts your resilience.
5. Self-Care Isn't Selfish
When you're hurting, nourishing yourself might feel like the last thing on your mind. But remember, you can't pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing sleep, healthy food, and some form of movement isn't indulgent – it's essential for emotional healing.
The Sleep Factor: Breakups can wreak havoc on your sleep patterns. Aim for a consistent bedtime and create a calming pre-sleep routine to combat this.
Fuel Your Body Well: Opt for fresh fruits, vegetables, and lean protein instead of reaching for comfort junk food that will leave you feeling worse in the long run.
Move, Even a Little: You don't have to train for a marathon. But even a brisk walk or a relaxing yoga class makes a difference in boosting mood and reducing stress.
The Treat Factor: Small acts of self-care matter! Take a luxurious bath, get a massage, curl up with a good book. Give yourself permission for moments of simple pleasure.
While self-care is internal, having a supportive network makes the journey less isolating. Let's explore who to lean on and when venting might do more harm than good.
6. The Power of Your Support System
Knowing you're not alone is crucial after a breakup. But wisely choose your confidants.
Your Go-To's: Those friends or family members who offer unconditional support, listen without judgment, and help you get out of your own head.
Proceed with Caution: Sometimes, well-meaning people give unhelpful advice or unknowingly focus on the negatives about your ex, which can stir up more pain.
Venting vs. Rehashing: There's a difference! It's natural to vent initially, but with time shift conversations toward your future, new interests, and rediscovered passions.
While the above steps propel you forward, it's important to be patient with the process.
7. It Takes Time, So Be Patient with Yourself
Healing from a breakup, much like healing a physical wound, isn't a straight line. There will be days where you feel great, optimistic about the future, and excited to embrace your newfound independence. And there will be days when sadness creeps back in, you miss your ex, and question everything. That's normal!
Here's what to remember:
Two Steps Forward, One Step Back: Progress, not perfection, is the goal. Don't beat yourself up on bad days. Instead, be kind to yourself and keep those steps forward in sight.
Celebrate Small Victories: Whether it's getting through the day without crying or finally unfollowing your ex on social media, acknowledge your progress!
When to Seek Help: If you're struggling with persistent depression, anxiety, or find yourself unable to cope with daily life, therapists specialize in breakups and can provide valuable support.
You've got this! Breakups are painful, there's no way around it. But by taking action, leaning on loved ones, and being gentle with yourself during the process, you will emerge stronger, more resilient, and with an even deeper understanding of what you deserve in love.
You aren't just surviving a breakup – you're creating a beautiful new chapter in your life story.
Know someone struggling with a breakup? Share this article. You might just be the lifeline they need.
